


Once you have reached the bottom

by americanfightpuppy



Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Iron Man - All Media Types, Marvel, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Mentions of Suicide, Stony - Freeform, Suicide Attempt, Superfamily (Marvel), Superhusbands (Marvel), stony au
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-11
Updated: 2016-06-28
Packaged: 2018-06-07 20:38:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 18,122
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6823117
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/americanfightpuppy/pseuds/americanfightpuppy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After the events of Civil War, Tony starts to lose his sanity. He loses Pepper, Rhodey may never walk again, and he blames himself for all that happened. He misses Steve terribly, whom he secretly has a crush on, and locks himself in his apartment for weeks on end. Bruce, who came back after he heard what had happened, gets worried about his friend. He can only see one way he could save him: calling Steve.</p><p> </p><p>(Better summary will come I promise)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> { This story takes place right after the events of Civil War. This being said, the story will contain spoilers and references from the movie. Don’t proceed if you haven’t watched the movie yet(you should though, all the feels ;_;). Also, in this AU, Peter is still an infant that lives with his parents. (because fuck the original marvel timeline amirite) }
> 
> If there are any spelling/grammer mistakes, please correct me! I want to learn from my mistakes, and seen my first languages is dutch and not English, receiving tips is very helpful! :3

‘I promise you, if you need us, if you need me, I’ll be there.’ 

These words kept going through Tony’s head. He stared at the flip phone in his hand, shivering.

What had he done? 

He could have avoided all of this. He overreacted. He tried to kill Bucky.

Steve tried to reason with him. But Tony didn’t listen. He wanted to avenge his parents death, even though the one that caused it had no control over himself. It wasn’t Bucky’s fault. But the moment Tony saw that video, something snapped inside of him. He felt betrayed. Not by Bucky, he barely knew the guy. But by Steve, for not telling him the truth. Steve lied to him, even though he did it to protect him. 

Steve stayed loyal to his friend. He tried to protect him from Tony.

Tony dropped the phone and held his head in his hands. His hair was a mess, his clothes looked like he hadn’t changed in about a week, and he had bags under his eyes.

None of the free avengers had seen him after the incident. Rhodey was training himself, trying to win back the feeling and strength in his legs. His family had come to the tower to support him.

Pepper couldn’t handle the tension that was hanging over the building, and the sorrow that was hanging around Tony. She had requested a vacation. Tony knew they were over, but he understood though. He hated the thought of losing her, and could imagine how Pepper should feel every time he went on a mission. He had asked her if she still wanted to work for him after she came back. She had agreed. Somehow Tony had peace with it. He was hurt, of course, but his feeling were a mess. He didn’t know what to feel anymore.  
Tony closed his eyes and sighed. I’ll be there.

And Steve had been there. Steve cared for Tony. And Tony realised this a few days after he had received the package. Steve hadn’t only stayed loyal to Bucky. He stayed loyal to Tony.

Steve could’ve killed him. Tony was in a vulnerable position, and Steve had had the upper hand. But he didn’t kill him. Instead, he destroyed Tony’s arc reactor, shutting down the power off the suit. Not only did he save him and Bucky with this, but he also saved Tony from himself. Steve had known that Tony wouldn’t give up. He had chosen the most peaceful way out of there. 

Someone knocked on Tony’s office door. The billionaire looked up with widened eyes, startled by the sudden disturbance.

‘Tony, please open the door.’ Bruce begged. Tony rubbed his eyes and turned his head away.

After the incident with Cap and Bucky, Bruce had come back to support his friend. But Tony had locked himself away on his floor, only allowing the food elevator to come up. JARVIS had tried to reason with Tony, but failed. 

‘JARVIS, had did Bruce get here?’ Tony asked silently, his voice rough after not talking for about two weeks.

‘I’m sorry sir. I allowed mister Banner to come up. Locking yourself away for so long is not good for your health.’ 

Tony clenched his fists, sighed and stood up. He walked to the door and unlocked it. Bruce slowly opened the door, glancing in.

‘Tony?’ He whispered. Tony turned around and walked a few steps away from him, crossing his arms.

‘What do you want Bruce?’ Tony asked sharply. He knew he was being too hard on his friend. He only tried to help him. But Tony couldn’t control his feelings like he could before. His mind was a mess.

‘I wanted to see how you were doing. With what happened and all.’ 

‘You could’ve just asked Vision.’ Tony stated. Vision had visited him a few times, as he was able to just fly through walls, and tried to talk with him. But Tony sent him away every time.

‘I don’t know Tony… He seems distracted somehow.’ Bruce walked around Tony and placed one hand on his shoulder.

‘Can you at least try to talk about it? Get it off your chest?’ 

Tony, his head still turned away, glanced at his friend, who gave him a sympathetic look. Tony dropped his arms, shook Bruce’s hand off and walked to the couch where he sat down. Bruce sat down next to him, looking at him patiently.

‘I don’t know Bruce… My head is just a mess. With Pepper, Steve, Bucky, the other…’ Tony clenched his fists.

‘It is my fault. I could have avoided this all by just teaming up with Steve. He was right. The avengers should have a choice of their own. But I had to be an idiot.’ He buried his face in his hands again, just like before. Bruce placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder again.

‘You fought for what you believed. There is nothing wrong about that. And Cap forgave you, remember? He freed Wanda, Sam and the others.’ Bruce stopped, looking at Tony who didn’t change the position he was in.

‘There is something else going on here, isn’t there?’ His voice dropped, almost to a whispering volume. Tony cringed. 

‘Do you want to tell me?’ 

It was silent for a good minute until Tony looked up at his friend.

‘I think I love Steve, Bruce…’ Tony whispered, his vision blurry because of the tears. Bruce was shocked, but he quickly straightened his face and pulled Tony in a hug. Tony’s eyes widened as he realised how nice it was to have Bruce here. To have a friend to talk to. How much he appreciated him. And he hugged him back.

Once Bruce let go, he pointed at the phone Tony had dropped onto the floor.

‘Steve gave you that, right?’ He asked. Tony nodded, picking up the old model. 

‘Call him.’ 

Tony’s eyes widened.

‘Are you crazy?! What am I supposed to say?! Did you forget he is a wanted criminal in S.H.I.E.L.D’s files?!’ Tony asked abashed. Bruce grabbed the phone from him and motioned him to calm down.

‘And did you forget you are ‘the’ Tony Stark? You could arrange something, let him come over. He did tell you he would be there for you when you needed him.’ 

Tony narrowed his eyes, thinking about the letter.

‘How do you know that? I hid the letter Steve had sent me.’ Tony asked suspiciously. Bruce awkwardly bit his lip, looking away.

‘JARVIS may have send me a picture of the letter?’ He said hesitantly. Tony groaned and looked around the room.

‘JARVIS, is there anything else you are not telling me?’ Tony muttered. JARVIS remained silent for a few seconds, as if he was thinking.

‘Dr. Banner has camera access to your living room, sir. In case of an emergency.’ 

Tony narrowed his eyes and looked at Bruce, who shrugged awkwardly. 

‘I get uneasy when you lock yourself away this long. What if anything happened and we don’t know?’ 

Tony turned his head away, signing.

‘Doesn’t matter. I’m not really in the living room any way.’ Tony got up and walked past Bruce, who also got up.

‘Where are you going?’ Bruce asked, his face concerned.

‘To bed.’ Tony said dryly, not stopping or looking back.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce decides to call Steve, but does he even want to come back?

The phone rang. Steve’s head jerked up, eyes wide in surprise. He looked at the light of the phone that illuminated the dark room, and heard the vibrations against the wooden nightstand.

Steve didn’t hesitate and grabbed the phone, answering it.

‘Tony?’ He asked, realising he had somewhat a morning voice.

‘Hi Steve, sorry, it’s Bruce.’ Banners voice sounded from the other end of the line.

Steve narrowed his eyes, confused.

‘Banner? How did you get that phone? Did something happen to Tony?’ Being awake for just a few seconds, he failed in hiding the concern in his voice. 

‘No, Tony is fine. If you can call locking himself away from society and looking like a mess fine.’ 

Some sounds were heard in the background, followed by another voice. Bruce answered the voice, probably covering the phone with his hands as the reply sounded muffled.

‘I’m calling Cap. It’s nothing.’ 

Steve remained silent, trying to listen to the conversation. Again, the same voice as before said something. Vision maybe? It did kind of sound like Vision, but Steve couldn’t be sure.

‘You know why. Tony is slowly going mad in there.’ 

A few silent seconds went by. Steve had slightly gotten up, rubbing his eyes.

‘Steve?’ Bruce suddenly asked. 

‘I’m here. How did you get the phone, Bruce?’ Steve asked, leaning against the wall. He had to keep his voice down as he didn’t want to wake anyone up.

‘I had heard what happened, but as far as the rumours went, I wasn’t sure if Tony was okay. So I travelled back to see what was happening. Nat told me about Tony’s mental state.’ Bruce was silent for a few seconds, thinking.

‘He is in a really bad shape Cap.’ 

Steve turned his head away, closing his eyes. He felt guilty, even though he wasn’t sure why. Was this his fault? Bruce called him, so it must have something to do with him. 

‘Why are you calling me? Where is Pepper in this?’ Steve asked, lowering his voice. Pepper was supposed to be there for Tony, right? He remembered her being next to his side most of the time. They were a couple after all.

Bruce let out a sigh.

‘Pepper and Tony broke up. Pepper couldn’t handle the constant stress of almost losing Tony. She took a vacation, but agreed to keep working for him once she came back.’ He took a deep breath.

‘The chance that Rhodey will walk again is small, and Tony blames himself for what has happened to him. No, scrap that- he blames himself for everything that has happened.’ 

 

Steve could hear the worry in Bruce’s voice. Was Tony really doing as bad as what he was being told?  
‘Steve, you need to come back. You need to talk to him. I can’t bear to see him like this. He isn’t himself anymore.’ Aside from the worry, Steve also heard desperateness. 

‘How long has he been like this?’ The super soldier asked, sliding his legs out of bed.

‘Since Pepper called him, which was one day after he came back from the Civil war.’ 

Steve opened his mouth to speak, than leaned forward and leaned his head in his free hand, sighing under his breath. It had been about four weeks since he had last seen Tony. He could barely believe that this man that he had known as confident and stubborn, was actually being torn apart by his own mind. 

‘Bruce, if I just shine up at his doorstep, I’ll be arrested. I’m a criminal in S.H.I.E.L.D’s records.’ Steve forced himself to stand up and walked over to the window. He slightly pushed the covers away and looked outside. It was early in the morning, the sun wouldn’t come up yet for at least another hour.

‘Yea… Tony said that…’ Bruce breathed in. ‘But we could manage something. Tony has some untraceable airplanes that I can send over to pick you up. Wanda, Sam and Clint could come along, and maybe even Bucky.’ Bruce really tried to persuade Steve, and the super soldier knew it. This somewhat proved to him about the accuracy of the story.

‘Bucky isn’t… He can’t come. I don’t think it would be a good idea anyway.’ Steve looked over the jungle, but it was too dark to really see anything.  
‘Oh, right. I forgot about that.’ Bruce muttered awkwardly.

‘But will you come?’ 

Steve lowered his head and stared at his feet for a few seconds.

‘Yea. I’ll send you coordinates where you can pick me up.’ Steve placed his free hand behind his neck and waited for a response.

‘Thanks Steve.’ 

Suddenly, a loud sound made Steve cringe. It sounded like a door was being kicked shut, followed by sounds he didn’t recognise. Bruce apparently did.

‘Tony no!’ 

Steve shot up, suddenly very concerned. ‘Bruce, what is going on?’ 

‘Tony! I’m sorry Cap, I got to go. I’ll text you about the plane.’ 

‘Bruce, wai-‘ But Bruce had hung up, and silence filled the room. Steve lowered the phone and looked at it, his hands shivering, hoping Tony was okay.

Steve didn’t waste time. He quickly send the coordinates to Bruce, or rather Tony’s phone and started packing his bag. Once he was finished, he left his room to find T’Challa.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If there are any mistakes, please tell me! 
> 
> (I don't always completely read the whole chapters myself so there will probably be some in there xp)


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony goes to his lab to find some distraction, but it only makes the situation worse.

Tony left the darkness of his room to take a shower. He still had bags under his eyes and his hair was a mess, but Tony just needed to get out of his room. He felt his sanity draining in there.

The billionaire dragged some clothes with him to the bathroom, looking around to make sure Bruce wasn’t here. He didn’t want to talk, not about his feelings, not about anyhing.  
Bruce kept trying to make him every time they met though.

Tony reached the bathroom and quickly locked it. He placed the clothes down, turned on the water, kicked his pyjamas off of him and stepped into the shower, letting the warm water stream over his body.

A shiver ran down Tony’s spine. Something felt wrong, but he didn’t know what it was, so he just shook it off. A lot felt wrong the last couple of days. This was nothing new.

Once he finished his shower, Tony got dressed and left the bathroom. He used his private elevator, which only reached his lab and a few other floors that were important to him, and went down to the lab. 

The moment he got there, he froze, staring straight ahead. Tony had forgotten that he had hung up Caps shield down here, and seeing it just made his heart feel like it was being stamped on all over again.

Tony felt his eyes starting to tear up again. He quickly turned and walked away from the shield, and towards his working bench. He sat down and booted up the computer, not even knowing what he was doing here. He turned his head and stared at the unfinished, upgraded armour that he had started on about two months ago. It was mostly wiring and the skeleton of the suit, looking like a giant mess. Tony stared at it for a while, before he looked back at the screen to read his own quick notes about it, as he had totally forgotten what he was creating here.

An hour passed, and Tony couldn’t figure out how to fix it. Two times he had tried the boots on to see if the flight power was working, but he wasn’t there with his right mind. Multiple bruises and cuts decorated his body as he had crashed into the wall more than once. With the new design, and his mind a mess, he couldn’t figure out what was wrong, and it was mentally exhausting him. 

‘DAMNIT!’ He yelled, throwing the unfinished piece of metal he had been working on away from him. It bounced on the floor a few times and lost some parts until it stopped moving, laying still on the floor. 

Tony grabbed his glass, which had some wine in it, and drank it all at once, before throwing the glass away as well. It shattered against the floor. The next thing to get thrown were the two empty wine bottles on his desk, after which a lot of broken glass was scattered over the floor.

Tony grabbed his head with his hands and leaned back in his chair, tears rolling down his cheeks as he growled with his teeth bared. Anger and sorrow overflowed him. He got up and walked to the rest of the armour, kicking it all over. After that he collapsed to his knees, his face buried in his hands. 

The once so confident man sobbed and cried as bad thoughts corrupted his mind. Before he knew it, his body had gotten up and walked over to the desk. He felt numb, his face showing tears and yet displaying such a cold expression. Tony opened a drawer and slowly lifted something from it.

A gun.

He stared at it for a full minute, only thinking about one thing. Ending it. He felt like a coward, but he also felt like he couldn’t handle it anymore. There wouldn’t be a happy ending in his story. Only sorrow and pain, things he didn’t want to feel anymore. 

He rose his hand and placed the barrel against his temple, shivering, as his eyes closed.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Steve finds Tony in his lab, but their encounter did not go as Steve had planned.

Steve stepped out of the elevator and looked around the living room. Nobody here. He walked around, opening all doors, checking the complete apartment for Tony. But he was nowhere to be found.

‘Uh… JARVIS? Where is Tony?’ Steve asked hesitantly. ‘I thought Bruce said he didn't leave the building?’ 

‘Mister Banner is right, Mister Stark is still in the building. He went down to his lab.’ 

Steve frowned and walked over to the elevator that led to the lab. He had been here before myltiple times with the other avengers, so he knew where to go.   
The elevator took him down to the lab. The moment the doors opened, Steve poked his head out and looked around. His body froze when he saw Tony standing with the gun against his temple.

‘TONY!’ He yelled, sprinting out of the elevator and towards the suicidal man. Steve pushed the gun away at the exact moment he heard it getting fired. The bullet just about missed Tony’s head, and created a hole in the wall instead. 

Steve pinned Tony against the wall, the weapon dropped on the ground beside him. Tony’s eyes didn’t open.

‘Tony, what are you doing?!’ Steve’s voice was panicked, and he felt his body shiver. Only after he had asked that, Tony’s eyes opened and met with his. 

‘Steve…?’ Tony’s whispered, his expression showing nothing but surprise as he spoke. But just a second later, he turned his head away from Steve and closed his eyes, looking troubled.

‘Tony, what where you doing? Why would you possible want to take your own life?’ Steve had his right arm pushed against Tony’s chest to keep him pinned against the wall. The other held the hand that had been holding the gun high above Tony’s head. Yet, he didn’t attempt to free himself. He just remained silent, refusing to talk or move.

Steve looked at him and sighed under his breath. He let go of the man and stepped back. Tony just lowered his arm and turned away from Steve.

‘Tony, please talk to me.’ Steve said, making sure it didn’t sound like begging. He was very worried about him, but begging would not do him any good in this situation.

Tony opened his mouth, but his eyes remained closed.

‘Why are you here?’ He asked, his voice reflecting sorrow. Steve hesitated.

‘Bruce called me.’ Steve had wanted to explain him more, but he just kept it at that. He was afraid that if he said something wrong, it would snap something in Tony. And the fact that he had almost taken his own life, only made Steve more anxious.

Tony cursed under his breath and turned his head even more away. Steve approached him, but Tony jerked his head back and stared him in the eyes, causing Steve to freeze in his pace.

‘Bruce doesn’t know what he’s talking about. He’s overreacting.’ Tony said coldly, his eyes narrowed. 

‘Clearly his worries are correct, though.’ Steve replied, glancing at the gun on the floor. Tony bared his teeth and turned his head away again.

‘I don’t want you here. I don’t want anyone. Just go back to where you came from. Sam must be wondering where ‘Captain Freedom’ has run off too.’ Tony spat, pacing off to his desk. Steve quickly followed after him.

‘Sam knows that I’m here. And I’m not leaving you this way. Bruce isn’t the only one worried about you.’ He placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder, but the moment he did, he felt a shock go through Tony's body. He turned around very quickly, shaking the hand off violently and stepped back.

‘Don’t touch me.’ His voice had gotten colder. Steve looked him in the eyes. Anger. Sorrow. Regret. What was troubling him so much?

Steve softened his expression. It hurt him to see Tony this way. He had always had a soft spot for him, ever since they first met. The fact that he wanted to kill himself felt to Steve like he was being shot. It was so unnatural.

Tony looked at Steve for a few more seconds, before he turned to his desk, grabbed his phone and padded away again. Steve turned and followed him. Tony entered the elevator and leaned against the wall, standing in the corner. Steve still followed him, and stood across from Tony, who again refused to look at him. 

A ping was heard, and the door opened again. Before Tony could slip out, Steve stepped in front of the exit. Tony rose his head and bared his teeth, clenching his fist.

‘Steve, move!’ He yelled. But Steve didn’t listen. He stood there, looking down at Tony, his face showing sympathy and sadness.

‘Tony, I’m trying to hel-‘ 

‘I don’t need your help! Leave me alone!’ Tony screamed, interrupting him. He ran into Steve, trying to push him away. But Steve did something that shocked Tony. He wrapped his arms around him, hugging him tight. Tony stared over Steve’s shoulder, frozen in place. His vision became blurry again and he turned his head away, closing his eyes as he tried to force the tears back.

Steve’s grip loosened after a while, and Tony slightly stepped back. Steve hoped he would say something, but his mouth remained closed. Tony than turned, very quickly, and speed-walked off to his room. 

Before Steve could do anything, the door closed and the lock was activated.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you find any mistakes, please tell me! ^^


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony calls up Bruce to ask him for an explanation as to why Steve is at the Stark tower, but gets lost in his own emotions.

Tony threw himself on his bed and hugged his pillow, fighting back the tears.

Why had fuck had Bruce called Steve?! 

Tony turned on his phone and called him. It took a few seconds for Bruce to answer.

‘Tony, are you alright?’ He asked. Tony bared his teeth, and realised he seemed to be doing that a lot.

‘Why did you call Steve?!’ He yelled into the speakers, but not loud enough for Steve to hear it on the other side of the door. 

‘Oooh…’ Bruce murmured awkwardly. He was silent for a few seconds.

‘Well?’ Tony asked impatiently. Bruce cleared his throat and sighed.

‘What happened?’ He asked. Tony’s eyes widened in surprise and he got only more angry.

‘What ha-‘ He growled under his breath. ‘Bruce, why the fuck is he here?!’ 

Tony almost broke the phone in two by squeezing it too tight in his hand. His other hand was buried in his hair, annoyed by his own lack of knowledge what to do with it. 

‘I thought you would be happy if he came. You really needed something to lift your spirit.’ Bruce explained. Tony heard from his voice that he was slowly starting to regret his decision.

‘Why are you so angry? Did you two fight?’ Bruce’s voice was getting sympathetic again. Tony rubbed his eyes, slowly getting tired because of all the sympathy he was getting.  
‘No. Not exactly.’ Tony answered, rolling over to his right side.

‘Care to explain?’ 

Tony shrugged to himself. 

‘Maybe later. Sorry for the outburst.’ With that, he just hang up, even before Bruce could answer. Tony sighed, feeling guilty for yelling at his friend who only tried to help him. 

‘JARVIS, show me the living room please.’ Tony said silently. A small Yes was heard, and the television screen that hung in Tony’s room turned on. Steve was standing there, looking from right to left, unsure of what to do. He carefully walked around, and stared at the few pictures that were on the wall. Tony frowned. 

He had torn most of the photo’s off one day when he had felt particularly sad, and thrown them all on the floor behind the couch. The pictures were either of him and Pepper, Rhodey, or the team. The ones that were still hanging were with Bruce and one of his parents. He didn’t really feel the need for photos, but Pepper had always suggested that it would give some atmosphere to the room, so he had just agreed with her. But now that she was gone, he had torn them down, as he could only feel sad whenever he looked at them.

Steve suddenly sat down on one of the two couches and buried his face in his hands. Tony watched him, his eyes widened slightly as he felt sad by just looking at Cap. He was being an asshole to him, just like he had been to Bruce. Steve was here on own risk, could be arrested if someone found out about him being here. But he was willing to risk it for him, for his safety. 

Tony buried his face in his pillow, letting out a sad sigh. 

Him being here was really messing with his feelings. One part of him really wanted to go out there, talk with Steve, allow himself to feel happiness again. But the other part told him to stay where he was. That Steve would never feel the same for him and that it would only hurt more if he would try. And sadly, that part was the most believable.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tony wakes up, he realises Steve isn't on his floor anymore. JARVIS tells him to go look in the gym, but Tony quickly regrets listening to him.

Tony blinked his eyes, light shining into the room. Had he fallen asleep? 

He rubbed his eyes, wondering why the curtains were even open, as he forced himself to sit up. He then noticed that the television that was still on. For a few seconds, Tony couldn’t recall why this was, and why it was showing a live feed of his living room, until it all came back to him. 

‘Where’s Steve?’ He asked out loud. Tony blinked and shook his head, turned off the television and stood up.  
Carefully, he opened the door, glancing out. But Steve wasn’t here, like he had seen on the television. Questions popped up in his head. Did he leave? HaveI scared him away? Does he hate me?

Tony walked around the whole floor, but Steve wasn’t anywhere.

‘Uh, JARVIS… Where is Steve?’ Tony asked hesitantly. 

‘Mister Rogers is down in the gym.’ JARVIS announced. Immediately, it felt like a weight was lifted from Tony’s heart. Steve hadn’t left. 

Tony walked to the small fridge in the corner of the living room, grabbed two sandwiches and walked back to take the regular elevator to go down to the gym. While he was waiting for the elevator to reach the floor, he was debating what he was going to say. Should he just apologize or act casual, like nothing happened? He didn’t know, and just hoped he would, once he was actually in conversation with Steve.

The elevator door opened silently and Tony stepped out, taking a bite out of one if the the sandwiches he was holding.

The floor that took up the gym, looked different from most floors. If you exited the elevator, you entered a small hallway, that had two doors in the middle. The right side held training machines that were specialized for muscle training, and the left side for condition. On the opposite side of the building was another elevator, that connected in the same hallway as the elevator Tony had just exited. So it was really one long hallway with two big rooms on either sides. The walls that separated the rooms from the hallway had a few windows in them, so you could look in. But the gym was abandoned. It wasnn’t even open for customers at this early hour.

Tony tried his best to remain silent as he walked through the hallway, glancing from right to left as he tried to spot Steve. He eventually saw him on the right side of the hallway, laying on a Sit Up bench. His body was sweaty and his muscles were tensed as he was doing sit ups, completely focused on his work out. Tony couldn’t look away.

‘Stop it.’ He said to himself, turning his head to the other side. He took the last few steps to the door and silently opened it. Steve still didn’t notice him.

Tony leaned against the doorpost and sighed under his breath as he watched the muscular man working out. He was so sexy… Tony shook his head again.

‘Steve?’ He announced himself silently, hesitantly. Steve immediately looked up, and stared at Tony. The super soldier grabbed a towel that had been laying on the floor, placed it around his neck and got up, walking over to Tony.

‘Are you feeling better?’ He asked, standing still a few feet away from him. Tony really had to try his hardest to not look down on his abs.

He nodded and raised his hand with the second sandwich.

‘I’m not sure if you’ve eaten yet, but I brought you a sandwich.’ Tony said, trying to act casual. He leaned against the doorpost again as Steve took the sandwich that was being handed to him.

‘Thanks, I hadn’t actually. I wasn’t sure if I could just take these.’ Steve unwrapped the plastic around it and took a large bite. Tony quickly took another bite from his sandwich so it wouldn’t get awkward. 

Tony couldn’t help but think about the fact that Steve was only wearing grey shorts, and prayed that his cheeks wouldn’t turn red. Before he knew it, Steve had completely finished his sandwich, while Tony had just taken a few bites, being distracted and all.

‘Was there anything you wanted to talk about?’ He suddenly asked. Tony’s head jerked up and he looked Steve in the eyes.

‘No, just delivering that sandwich.’ He said, trying to make his voice sound somewhat bored. Steve seemed to fall for it though.

‘Alright. If you don’t mind, I’d like to finish my work out.’ He grabbed the towel from his neck, but seemed like he remembered something.

‘Oh, and Bruce wants to see you. He was in the elevator and mentioned you.’ Steve smiled encouraging. Tony turned his head away, uneasy that Bruce was apparently looking for him, since he knew damn well what it was about.  
‘Alright, thanks for telling me.’ Tony said, quickly turning to the door before he would do something stupid, like look at his abs or blush.

‘I’ll come up later, ‘kay?’ Steve asked. Tony slightly turned his head back and nodded, before slipping out of the room and speed-walking back to the elevator. Once he was in there, going back upstairs, he sighed, his cheeks burning red.

‘Note to self, do not go visit Steve in the gym anymore.'


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bruce knows about what happened in the lab because of JARVIS, and he wants to talk with Tony about it.

Bruce was sitting in one of the chairs in Tony’s apartment. He was holding a tablet, watching something, his eyebrows furrowed. Tony bit his lip awkwardly as he walked out of the elevator, trying his best to remain silent. But, luck wasn’t on his side, and he didn’t notice a small pile of clothes on the ground, which he tripped over.

Tony fell to the ground and groaned to himself. ‘Damnit… Idiot…’ He murmured to himself. He heard Bruce gasp and getting up.

‘You okay?’ He felt Bruce grabbing his wrist and pulling him up. Tony shrugged his shoulders, trying to act casual, as he wiped his shirt.

‘Yea, fine. Thanks.’ He looked at Bruce shortly, before quickly turning away and attemting to walk to his room. But Bruce was quicker, holding out his arm to stop Tony from doing so.

‘No, Tony. This time, we are going to talk. I saw what happened. JARVIS showed me.’ Bruce voice somewhat cracked. Tony clenched one fist and looked up at his friend, who had tears in his eyes.

‘Why didn’t you say anything? I want to help you, but you have to let me in.’ Bruce grabbed his friend by his arms, looking him in the eyes. Tony felt guilt eating in him. His fingers started to shiver, and he didn’t know what to tell his friend. Tony wasn’t in his right mind that moment. He had never thought of going to Bruce. But now that he stood on front of him, Tony wanted to slap himself across the face for being such an idiot.

Bruce pulled Tony into a hug, shivering himself. Tony realised how hard this had hit Bruce. His friend was on the edge of crying, unsure what to do with himself because of all the worry that he had. Tony bit his lip and hugged him back, trying to comfort him. Weird, really, that the man who had put a barrel against his temple needed to comfort his friend. But honestly, Tony didn’t feel like he was worth the trouble of worrying about.

‘Is that really what you want? End it?’ Bruce asked really quietly, almost too quiet for Tony to hear. He was probably hesitating if he should even ask it, afraid of Tony’s reaction.

Tony shook his head, sighing. He let go of Bruce and stepped back, sitting down in one of the two couches. He moved his hand through his hair, looking up at the ceiling.

‘I… I was drunk… I don’t know Bruce…’ Tony leaned his elbows on his knees, with his head in his hands. Bruce sat next to him and looked down, trying to come up with a thing to say.

‘Is there anything I can do for you?’ He asked, still hesitating over the things he was saying.   
‘I don’t know.’ Tony said, after a minute of silence. ‘I don’t even know what to do with myself.’ 

Bruce looked at him, still concerned.

‘How do I know you will be okay? Tony, I can’t live with the idea that you might be putting a gun to your head again.’ 

‘No, I…’ Tony sighed, turning his head away. ‘I’m not gonna do that anymore. You can take my gun if you want. I don’t need it.’ 

Bruce nodded slightly, planning on going down to the lab to pick the gun up later. His worries were still very much alive, but he had to admit that Tony looked a lot more stable than last night. 

An silence fell between the friends, as both didn’t know what to say. 

‘I… I think I should start working again.’ Tony muttered. He hadn’t done any work related the company for multiple weeks now. But seen the fact that it was still running like usual, someone else had to have taken over all the work. Yet, he had no clue who. Pepper was the first to come to mind, but she was on vacation, right? Tony didn’t know. Maybe a subject for a later conversation.

‘Really?’ Bruce asked, hope shining in his eyes. For him, this looked like the first step to recovery. If Tony would start working again, he might slowly return to his life before the Civil war. Tony nodded.

‘I’ll start right now.’ He muttered, standing up. He really wanted to get out of there. Bruce quickly blocked his path.

‘If you need anything, just call me, okay?’ Concerned Bruce asked again. Tony nodded, forcing a smile on his face.

‘Yea, I will. Thanks Bruce.’ Tony thanked his friend before walking around him. Bruce watched as Tony quickly paced off to his office, and closed the door behind him.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony decides to finally start working again, but immediately gets to sucked up in it.

Tony mumbled things to himself, holding up two papers in his hands, and having dozens more laying on the desk. He was reorganizing the mess that was his work space, and tried to figure out who had ran the company when he wasn’t able too. That question was yet to be confirmed, but as he looked through the documents on his laptop, he had figured that it might have indeed been Pepper. 

Pepper had ran the company before. Tony had learned her how to do it, so everything she did was relatable to Tony, yet he could see the difference between how he did it, and she.  
Everything was pretty synoptic, and all the documents were sorted nicely so Tony didn’t get lost in his own business contracts.

Tony had been working all the day, making himself familiar with the job again as it had slipped his mind for at least a month now, and was finally ready to take back his business.

‘JARVIS, can you confirm that Pepper took over the company during my absence?’ Tony asked, not looking up from his work. JARVIS immediately answered.

‘Miss Potts offered to take the job when Mister Banner called to inform her on what was going on. She has indeed been taking care of the business. I’ll assume that I can call her that you are back on track now, Mister Stark?’ 

Tony picked up a pile of papers, pulled open a drawer and dropped them all in there.

‘Yes, I’d appreciate that.’ Tony said. He really didn’t want to call her himself. It hadn’t shocked him that it was indeed Pepper that took over, he had figured that out himself, but the moment JARVIS actually confirmed it, he felt surprise. No matter what happened, Pepper was still there to help him in times of need. He was happy to know that she was still there for him.

Tony’s stomach rumbled. The billionaire looked down upon his belly, but only for a slight second before returning to his work. He would eat later. Probably. 

It had been a while since Tony had had this much concentration. He didn’t want to break it by getting dinner for himself, or lunch for that matter. Finally after weeks he felt like he could get his life back as it was before, or at least, part of it. He had the will to work again. And his stupid need for food wouldn’t ruin that.

A few hours passed without any interruptions. JARVIS helped Tony here and there, but after a while, he got back in his billionaire working atmosphere. This is why he hadn’t notice it when that sun had gone under, and JARVIS had turned on the lights in his office.

‘Tony?’

Tony looked up, startled by the sudden voice. His eyes met with Steve’s, who stood in the doorpost.

‘Are you still working? It’s been past eleven in the evening.’ He sounded somewhat concerned, which Tony couldn’t understand. He furrowed his eyebrows, looking at the digital clock on his desk, seeing it was indeed starting to become kinda late.

‘I didn’t notice. I’ll just finish this and call it a day.’ He replied quickly, muttering. Steve completely entered the office and walked over to Tony’s desk. Tony felt his heart beat quickening, and he tried to keep his concentration on the computer screen. But once he felt Steve leaning on his chair with one hand, he instantly lost all the will to be productive. Yet, he acted like he was still working.

‘When was the last time you ate something today?’ Steve asked after a few seconds of awkwardness. Tony bit his lip, waited with responding and typed some random things into the computer.

‘I don’t know…’ He made his voice sound uninterested. ‘That sandwich in the morning or something?’ He muttered. Steve sighed.

‘C’mon Tony, you need to eat.’ He placed his hands on top of the few papers that still lay on the desk. Tony flinched, staring at Steve's hand for a few seconds.

‘I will. After I finish this.’ Tony murmured, trying to pull the papers away from Steve’s hand without tearing them. 

‘No, now.’ Steve pulled the chair Tony was sitting in backwards and stepped in front of the desk, shielding Tony from the computer screen. Tony stared up at him, trying so hard not to blush. He quickly turned his head away, bared his teeth and stood up. Steve made an approving sound and placed a hand on Tony’s shoulder, slightly putting pressure on it so Tony would start walking to the door. Annoyed by his easy surrender, Tony did as was expected from him, yet refused to look at Steve. He exited the office first, but stopped right after.

Did he smell pizza?

Steve walked past him and around the corner to the living room. Hesitantly, Tony followed him. Once he had walked into the living room, he stiffened. Steve stood in the middle of the room, holding a box of pizza, like Tony had thought he smelled. He grinned slightly, holding up the box.

‘You like pizza?’ Steve asked. Tony slowly approached him, staring at the box. Had Steve bought pizza for him? Why? Where was this sudden thoughtful behaviour coming from?

As Tony didn’t really answer him, Steve opened the box and placed it down on the table. Tony saw the big pie, and immediately knew he wasn’t going to be able to eat it all on his own.

‘Yea, I do… It may just be a little much…’ He said awkwardly. Steve chuckled, and Tony quickly glanced up at him. His cheeks were slowly turning red, and he felt it.

‘Just eat, Tony.’ The super soldier sat down, and patted on the couch as an invite for Tony to do the same. Still hesitating, Tony sat down as well, two feet away from Steve, and took a slice.

‘Thanks, Steve.’ He said shyly, before taking a bite. 

Steve smiled to himself, seeing Tony trying so hard to avoid looking at him. He glanced at the pizza and took a slice himself. 

The two ate the pizza together and talked a little every now and then. But once they were done, and Tony had retreated to his room, he couldn’t help but think one thing. 

He had just experienced a date with Steve Rogers.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony has a chilling nightmare, and wakes up in terror, only to find out that it was just a dream.

  _‘Tooonyyy…’ A soft voice whispered his name. Tony looked up, but the room was completely dark._

 

_‘Tooonnyyyy…’ Again, Tony heard his name. He started to get nervous, and carefully walked around, staring at the ground. He could barely see his feet in the dark._

 

_Suddenly, the ground disappeared. Tony screamed as he fell down for what seemed like forever, until he felt water around him. His eyes widened, realising he had fallen in some sort of lake, and panicked as he tried to swim up. Once he reached the surface, he gasped for air, looking around as he was still panicking._

 

_Than something grabbed his feet and tried to pull him down again. Tony gasped, inhaling water. He felt like he was drowning, as water filled his mouth and he got slowly pulled down, unable to do anything against it. Until somebody grabbed his wrist. Tony’s head jerked up and he tightly held on to who ever tried to help him. The person that had grabbed him pulled him up from the water and the thing that had tried to pull him down retreated back to where it came from._

 

_Tony gasped for air again as the same person pulled him out of the water and onto land. He collapsed at the persons feet, grasping at his chest, coughing up water._

 

_When he had finally gotten some breath back, Tony looked up at who saved him. He stiffened as he saw Steve staring down at him, with an expression that confused Tony. It was a smile, if you could call it that, but his eyes were blank, numb._

 

_‘S-Steve?’ Tony whispered, trying to find strength in his limbs. For some reason, his legs wouldn’t work, so he could only sit up and lift his head to look Steve in the eyes._

 

_Steve didn’t respond. He slowly kneeled down, leaning with his arms on his legs. Tony’s eyes widened, fear suddenly waving over him. What was he doing?_

 

_Steve looked Tony dead in the eyes, and then his mouth opened._

 

_‘What if I hadn’t been here?’ His voice sounded depressed. Tony opened his mouth to speak, but Steve shook his head. He leaned in closer to Tony, who only widened his eyes more as he tried to shuffle away from him._

 

_‘Steve, s-stop!’ Tony muttered, slightly panicking again. He didn’t realise that he was still on the shore._

 

_Steve kept coming closer, until Tony’s hands suddenly slipped. With a scream for help, he tumbled into the water, being dragged down by the same being as before. Only this time, Steve just stood there, staring with the same depressed expression on his face._

 

Tony woke up in cold sweat. He was breathing fast, his heart was racing and his head pumping. He exhaled deeply, grasping for his chest just like he did in the dream.

 

 ‘Sir, are you alright?’ JARVIS asked. Tony breathed a few times, calming himself down.

 

 ‘Is Steve still here?’ He asked, ignoring JARVIS’s question.

 

 ‘Yes, Mister Rogers is in his room.’

 

 Tony furrowed his eyebrows, laying down again.

 

 ‘And where exactly is that?” Tony muttered. ‘You would believe that they are required to tell me something like that.’ He added silently, complaining.

 

 ‘One floor down, sir, room number three.’

 

 Tony rubbed his right eye as he remembered the six guest rooms that were located just one floor underneath him. These rooms were only used by friends and family of Tony, so it actually made sense that Steve had been resigned to one of those.

 

 ‘Do you have any camera feed from there?’ Tony asked, realising how odd that question was. JARVIS turned on the television and Tony saw a dark live feed of the bedroom of room 3. Steve was sleeping, sheets partly falling off of him and revealing half his bare back since he was laying on his stomach.

 

 Tony felt weird watching him. Not only was Tony violating Steve’s privacy, but he knew that if this were to happen to him, he would be completely creeped out. Yet, he couldn’t turn the television off. Steve’s unmoving silhouette, with only his back rising and dropping every time he inhaled and exhaled, calmed Tony down. It was a peaceful sight, and Tony couldn’t deny that he liked it.

 

 ‘Do you want me to wake mister Rogers up?’ JARVIS asked. Tony quickly sat up in his bed, waving his hands.

 

 ‘No, don’t! Let him sleep.’ Tony said, a little shocked, before JARVIS did anything stupid. He sighed and leaned back against the wall. Steve murmured something in his sleep and rolled over to his side. Tony felt his cheeks blush, and he turned his head away.

 

 ‘Turn it off.’ Tony whispered. The room became dark again, and Tony rested his head on the pillow. He felt his small Captain America plush laying on the side of his bed, and pulled it against his chest.  Tony closed his eyes and exhaled.

 

 He was afraid to go back to sleep again.

 

 


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tony wants to test out his upgraded arc reactor and boots, something goes terribly wrong.

It hadn’t really been the best night for Tony. After he’d gone back to sleep, he’d had another nightmare, that scared him just like the one before had. After that, Tony didn’t want to sleep anymore. He had gotten up and taken the elevator down to the lab.

Tony was working on the suit again. He was wearing his safety glasses, and was giving the suit another chance. Only this time, he did figure stuff out, and he could peacefully work on the armour just like he used too. 

He was wearing his black and grey, skin-tight shirt and black pants, which he wore a lot while working on the armour. He held a tool in one hand, and a piece of the suit in the other as he worked. Tony was in his element again, and he didn’t notice the elevator coming down.

He had narrowed his eyes, and startled when a cup of coffee was suddenly placed down next to him. He almost threw his arms in the air as he dashed away in surprise, realising it was only a cup of coffee. The cup had the Captain America logo on it. Tony bit his lip as he looked up into Steve’s eyes. His hair was really messy, and he was wearing a t-shirt and sweatpants. He had clearly just gotten up.

‘Good morning.’ Steve greeted, giving him one of his charming smiles. Tony looked down at the coffee and wrapped his fingers around the cup.

‘Morning.’ He answered, taking a sip. Steve leaned to his right trying to see what Tony was working on.

‘What’re you doing?’ He asked, sounding sincerely interested. Tony looked at the unfinished arc reactor on his desk. He pointed behind him to the suit which was also unfinished, and back at the reactor as he took a few more sips of the coffee.

‘Trying to create a better arc reactor for a suit. It’s supposed to hold much more energy, so it can power the suit longer.’ He said, again refusing to look at Steve. He awkwardly stared at the unfinished suit instead, as he lowered his cup, thinking a little. 

‘Nice.’ Tony heard Steve also sipping from his cup.

‘And so it can’t be destroyed by two super soldiers.’ Tony added, muttering. Steve laughed.

‘Knowing you, that shouldn’t be too hard.’ 

Tony stiffened, looking down. Steve placed his hand on Tony’s shoulder for a few seconds, before turning around.

‘I’m going down to the gym. Don’t do anything you’ll regret later.’ Steve said. Tony turned his chair to look at him.

‘I won’t.’ He muttered. 

 

It was past one in the afternoon and Tony was just about to test out the flight power on his boots. He shook his shoulders and turned the unfinished suit on. To his delight, it worked as planned. Tony flew around the lab, and landed perfectly. He smirked, feeling great. It had been a while since he had actually achieved something.  
Tony walked back to the desk, grabbing the helmet he had, for some reason, almost finished already, and put it on. The screen inside turned on, displaying information over the suit. A lot of errors were visible, as it still missed almost all its parts, which made the helmet unable to get information.

‘JARVIS, can you hear me buddy?’ Tony asked. The errors on screen disappeared as he heard JARVIS’s voice in the helmet.

‘Right here, sir.’ 

‘Great. What can you say about the arc reactor attached to this prototype?’ Tony walked around a little, just to test the boots again.

‘It appears to be giving off a lot of energy. It would be advised to exit the suit, sir.’ Tony stopped, confused. 

‘What are you talking about?’ 

But before JARVIS had the time to respond, the arc reactor suddenly started shining brightly, instead of its usual dull glow, and the boots turned on at full power. Tony wasn’t able to control it, not with the gloves missing, and flew straight into a wall, which created a big hole. As the boots were still going at it on full power, Tony didn’t stop moving. He slid over the wall and flew to the other side of the room, crashing again. 

Tony groaned and yelled, the hits really taking their toll on his body. The next time he got launched, he reached out to grab two of the legs of the table, which was strongly glued to the floor. He managed to grab them. He tried his best to hold on, but it was really hard as the power coming from the boots was more powerful than anything he had ever used before.

Tony tried to turn it off, but even JARVIS couldn’t help. He felt how the panic started to grow in him and his breath fastened. He had the urge to grasp for his chest, do anything to get more air into his lungs. Fear took over and he felt like his heart was pounding so loudly that it would come out of his chest. That was the moment when Steve stepped out of the elevator.

‘STEVE!’ Tony yelled. Steve jerked his head and looked at the panicked man with his eyes wide in shock. He ran to Tony as quick as he could, who was looking down upon the arc reactor on his chest. The legs of the table started to get loose from the ground. The glue wasn’t gonna hold much longer. Steve didn’t hesitate, grabbed the arc reactor and tore it out of the skeleton of the suit. The moment he did, Tony collapsed to the ground as the boots suddenly lost all power.

Tony groaned loudly, moving his arms to rest his head on them. He didn’t feel like getting up. His hands were sore, and his body felt as if it had been beaten up by the Hulk, like he'd had the same treatment Loki had gotten after the alien invasion. 

‘Tony, are you okay? What happened?’ Steve’s voice sounded somewhat far away. Tony glanced up at him, his vision blurry and covered in black spots. 

‘I don’t… feel good…’ Tony said, completely collapsing to the ground. The last thing he saw, before he lost consciousness, was Steve reaching out for him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> {Special thanks and shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta reader! I really appreciate your help :D }


	11. Chapter 11

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony wakes up in hospital with Steve besides his bed.

Really bright lights disturbed Tony, despite his closed being eyes. He groaned and lifted his arm to cover his eyes, but felt numb pain through his shoulder and multiple other places over his arm. 

‘JARVIS… Close the curtain…’ Tony muttered, not even really awake yet. He was feeling drowsy, as if he was drunk. What he didn’t know, was that he was under the effect of heavy painkillers.

‘Tony!’ A voice called for him. For Tony, it sounded like someone was playing the trumpet right next to his ear. 

He squealed, placing his hands in front of his ears as he tried to find the strength to open his eyes.

An unknown voice suddenly started speaking, but much more silent than the one before.

‘Mister Rogers, I would advise you to keep your voice down. The painkillers that mister Stark is under make most impulses stronger, meaning sensitivity for light-‘ The light in the room got turned off, and Tony finally felt like he could open his eyes without burning his pupils away.  
‘And sound.’ The unfamiliar man fell silent and walked away, closing a door behind him as he had probably left. 

‘Tony, are you awake?’ Steve’s voiced filled his mind. Tony slowly turned his head a little, furrowing his eyebrows as his whole body felt numb. He opened his eyes and blinked, his vision was slightly blurry. 

Tony was looking at the ceiling, his brain still trying to sort out what was going on. He slightly raised his head, which was almost unbearable to do, and made eye contact with Steve who was sitting next to his bed. 

‘Tony..’ He said, his voice filled with relief.

‘Where am I?’ Tony spoke, almost inaudible. His voice was rough, and his mouth dry.

‘You’re in the hospital, Tony.’ Steve answered carefully. He placed his hand over Tony’s arm, which lay on top of the sheets. A shiver went through the injured man as all the memories came flashing back. 

Steve was staring at him with such relief, yet also worry. Had he been out for long?

‘How long was I out?’ Tony asked, glancing around the room. His head felt cloudy, and he needed some time to absorb things.

‘About two weeks. The doctors kept you unconscious.’ Steve exhaled, and Tony felt that his hand was slightly shivering. 

‘Why?’ 

Tony closed his eyes for a few seconds, feeling dizzy. 

‘Do you remember what happened, with the new suit?’ Steve asked. Tony nodded slightly.

‘When you blacked out, I took you to the hospital. After they inspected you, they told me and Bruce that you had broken four ribs and your collarbone. The doctors said you were lucky, because you just barely escaped a serious neck and spine injury, as well as death.’ Steve tried to hide the worry in his expression. These two weeks had been hard on him and Bruce as well. They both didn’t know what was going to happen. The doctors said after a week that his condition wasn’t life-threatening anymore, but that there was still a chance that everything could go drastically wrong. That chance was always there, and it stressed Steve, up to the point that he almost had a panic attack. But Bruce didn’t know this, and he was he going to tell Tony.

Tony rested his head against the pillow again, his expression filled with pain. Steve didn’t want to imagine how Tony had to feel. His whole body was bruised and cut up. It had to hurt like crazy, even with the pain killers.

‘Steve…’ Tony suddenly whispered. Steve looked up, but Tony still had his eyes closed.

Tony felt his head getting heavy. He slightly moved his arm, taking a hold of Steve’s hand. 

‘Don’t leave…’ His voice trailed off, as he sunk away again. Steve looked at Tony with his mouth slightly open. He squeezed his hand and leaned in on the bed.

‘I won’t.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta reader!


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Tony is released from the hospital, he notices that his arc reactor has taken damage. To be able to fix it, he needs Steve's help to replace it with an older model.

Two weeks had passed, and Tony was finally released from the hospital. Steve waited for him outside the room as he got dressed in normal clothes. Bruce was arranging a ride to pick them up.

Tony looked at himself in the mirror. He tried to somewhat fix his messed up hair, but he would have to really try later, when he was back in his house. Tony sighed at the idea of going home. He was getting really fed up with this place. 

Steve knocked on the door.

‘Coming.’ Tony called, walking to the door. He exited the room, closed the door behind him and turned to look at Steve.

‘Glad you are going home?’ Steve asked, as the two man started to walk to the exit. Tony exhaled loudly, showing how done he was with this place.

‘Totally. I was bored out of my mind.’ Tony answered.

Tony was slightly limping. He had a big seam on his right leg, that went almost all the way down from his hip to his knee. Apparently, he had had a massive cut there. 

He also didn’t remember anything from the first two weeks of him being in the hospital, as he was unconscious all the time. 

Steve told him that Bruce and he had visited him every day, to check up on him. It was slightly affecting him, and he had already made some plans to make it up to them. But that was for later.

Bruce was waiting outside with a small car that didn’t stick out from the others cars on the streets. This way they could reach the Stark tower unnoticed.

Bruce drove the car into the underground parking space that was only accessible for Tony, and people who he trusted most. Bruce was, of course, one of those people. After that they took the elevator up. Nobody said anything during the time it took to reach Tony’s floor, but once the doors opened, Tony was the first one to exit. He inhaled deeply and quickly walked to his couch, where he plopped down and closed his eyes.

He felt the couch dip in slightly as another person sat down, but Tony didn’t even try to open his eyes to see if it was Bruce or Steve. He rested his head against the soft fabric and relaxed his body, letting off some of the tension that had been building up in his muscles.

Tony sighed and opened his eyes a little later. Steve was sitting on the other end of the couch, looking at him. Immediately, he felt his cheeks start to burn. 

Trying to get out of the awkward situation, Tony stretched his body and forced himself to stand up.

‘Gonna take a shower.’ He muttered, walking around the table to avoid Steve as much as possible.   
Tony entered his room and walked to his closet, gathering some clothes. A black tank top, comfortable jeans and a pair of underwear. After that he speed-walked to the shower.

 

After enjoying a nice shower, Tony was standing in front of the mirror, looking at the arc reactor in his chest. Just now he had realised that maybe not only his body had taken damage, but also the small device that kept pieces of shrapnel from penetrating his heart. 

He carefully moved his finger over the device, and noticed that it had indeed taken damage. He bit his lip, unsure about how bad it was. He hadn’t noticed any change during the four weeks in the hospital, but that proved nothing. And honestly, he didn’t want to find out, not after just being released from hospital.

So he pulled the tank top over his head and exited the bathroom. He walked to the elevator and pushed the button, when he realised that the last time he had to change reactors, he had needed Peppers help. He sighed under his breath and turned slightly.

‘Steve?’ He called to the living room. Steve’s head appeared around the corner, looking at Tony.

‘Hm?’ 

‘Can you help me with something? It’s kind of important.’ Tony asked, awkwardly. Steve smiled slightly and got up, nodding at Tony.

‘Yes, sure.’ He said. Tony turned back to the elevator that just opened and stepped in, followed by Steve. The elevator went down, and both were silent. Tony was happy that Steve didn’t ask what he had to help him with, because it would be much easier to explain if he could just show it.

The moment the elevator doors went open again, Tony walked out and into his lab, and to the small closet that held two older models of the arc reactor, plus some other small devices. He entered the password and the closet opened so Tony could take out the newest model of the two reactors. As he walked back to his desk, he noticed Steve was already standing there, watching him with confusion.

‘Alright. Well, I need your help with this.’ He pointed at the arc reactor in his chest, or rather, the light that shone through his tank top. 

‘It’s damaged, and I can’t replace it on my own.’ He held up the second reactor in his hand. Steve seemed to understand now, as the confusion in his expression somewhat faded. Tony hesitated, as he had to undress from his tank top to be able to replace the arc reactor. But again, he wasn’t going to wait and find out what the damaged arc reactor could do to him. 

Tony laid down on the small deck-chair like furniture, pulled the tank top over his shoulders and hung it over a rack with multiple tools on it. Steve just stood there, looking somewhat helpless, as he held the older model of the arc reactor in his hands.

Looking down at his chest, Tony slightly pushed the arc reactor and turned it clockwise. It made a silent ‘poof’ like sound, and it popped up a little so Tony could lift it up, revealing the metal hole in his chest. He waited with disconnecting the wire though.

Tony felt really vulnerable in this state, and tried his hardest to build up more courage. 

‘What do I do?’ Steve asked, sounding a little concerned. Tony motioned him to come closer.

‘See this wire? When I pull it out, you have to connect that one in its place.’ He pointed from the newer version of the reactor in his hand, to the older one in Steve’s. The super soldier nodded, but he seemed nervous. It actually amused Tony to see that he was the nervous one for once. Even though Steve was this close to him, with his bare chest, Tony almost didn’t feel awkward. He was used to this kind of thing, it was his element. And honestly, it would look really unprofessional if he made a mistake with a device that he had built himself.

‘Ready?” Tony asked, looking at the uneasy Steve, who nodded. Tony carefully pulled the wire of his arc reactor out, and placed it on the plate beside him, instantly starting to feel uneasy. He groaned under his breath as he watched Steve trying to connect the wire clumsily. Again, Tony felt amused to realise how he was actually more confident about something, better in something than the super soldier.

Steve finally managed to connect the wire. Tony took the device in his hands and pushed it down, rotating it against the clock until it popped down. 

Tony sighed and grabbed the damaged arc reactor as he sat up.

‘Thanks, Steve.’ He said sincerely as he examined the device. Steve wasn’t sure what to do, so he just said ‘you’re welcome’ and watched Tony, who got up and walked over to his desk to sit down in the chair. Steve hesitantly followed him and watched over his shoulder.

Tony had grabbed a tool and started screwing the shell around the reactor lose, when he stiffened as he realised he was being watched.

‘Uh, that’s all the help I needed.’ He muttered, suddenly feeling the awkwardness flow back to him. He had never liked being watched while he was working. It made him uneasy, no matter who was watching him. Steve and Tony looked at each other, but Tony quickly looked down again.

‘Alright. I’ll be right upstairs than.’ Steve announced, turning around. Tony nodded and waited until he saw him enter the elevator. After that he exhaled shakily, and lowered his gaze.

‘Thanks for everything…’ He whispered to himself.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta-reader!


	13. Chapter 13

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony is slowly getting his life back on track. He spends more time in the lab, working on projects like he used to, accompanied by Steve.

Two days passed. Tony was in his lab most of the time, tinkering with some tech. He had fixed the damaged arc reactor, and Steve had helped him again to place it back. After that, Steve had been walking around the lab, looking at stuff and accidentally kicked something over, breaking it. Tony realised that he liked the company, and actually started small conversations with Steve while working. 

‘Tony, can I ask you something?’ Steve asked. He was sitting in the chair at the desk and tried to make sense out of what was being displayed on the screen; a rotating, zoomed-in picture of the boot of the newest armour model with all kinds of notes and scribbles written around it. 

Tony muttered a sure, followed by telling Dum-E to hold something for him. 

‘Why do you have two reactors? Like, the one in your chest, and a separate one on your suits?’ 

Tony stiffened, as he realised that Steve was actually asking a legit question. He lifted his safety glasses and turned to look at him.

‘I uh..’ He glanced at the still unfinished suit. ‘The reactor in the suit powers everything in the suit itself, from flight power to weapons. This one-‘ he tapped on the light that shone through his tank top, ’is really just a big magnet. So the shrapnel in my chest doesn’t reach my heart. But if the reactor were to run out of power, it can be used as back-up battery.’ 

Steve had his mouth slightly open, taking in all the information. His gaze trailed off to the suit, staring at the brightly shining arc reactor. Tony did the same, and he felt his hands becoming heavy thinking back on the accident. Since he had returned here, he had refused to work out the problem with the reactor. But if he wanted to finish the suit as planned, he would have to eventually.

‘Dum-E, continue on the boot. You know what to do.’ Tony ordered his assistant as he stood up. Steve glanced at Tony as he walked to the desk, where Steve was sitting. Tony picked up his phone and walked back to the suit, projecting the screen of the phone so he didn’t have to walk back to the desk every ten seconds. He carefully took the arc reactor out of the suit and sat down in the free chair, examining in. 

Steve remained silent, just watching him work.

Tony typed something on the projected screen, looked back at the device, placed it down and started full on typing on the screen. 

‘JARVIS, confirm this please.’ Tony muttered. Steve smiled shyly. He enjoyed seeing Tony when he was in his engineering mode. Whenever he was, he somewhat forgot everything around him, muttered things to himself and his robot assistants, as he just tinkered with whatever he was working on. It was sort of cute to watch, Steve thought.

JARVIS confirmed, and Tony stood up, speed-walking back to his desk. He pulled one drawer open, almost forgetting Steve was still sitting there, grabbed a whole bunch of tools and carried them back to the chair, where he dropped them on a plate. He put his safety glasses on again and started using the tools. Steve was clueless about what most of the tools did, and what Tony was changing about the reactor, but he knew he would never really understand, so he didn’t bother asking. He just let Tony work, still watching him.

Steve had assigned himself to the task of feeding Tony, because he knew Tony was to sucked up in his work to even think about getting something to eat. So he brought him lunch, dinner and some snacks whenever he felt like Tony needed a little boost. Most of the time, Tony would eat with one hand, as he continued working with the other. But every now and then, he would put his work down to join Steve. They’d laugh, chat, and eat together. Tony never said it, but he was really grateful towards Steve, for everything he did for him. And whenever he would sit down with him, and Steve was busy stuffing his mouth with food, he would just look at him a few seconds, smiling to himself. 

A week passed, and Tony felt that like he was getting his life back on track. He didn’t sigh anymore when he woke up, and instead, felt excitement when thinking about spending another day with Steve. He was finally happy again.

But nothing lasts forever.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta-reader!


	14. Chapter 14

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After days of working on it, Tony can finally test out the new suit. But something more important comes up.

It had been three months since Steve had been staying at the tower. Wanda, Sam, Clint and T’Challa had all come over once, but only for a few days. After those days, they went back to wherever they came from, as Tony didn’t believe that the coordinates he had gotten from them was the place they actually stayed at. They were smarter than that, seen as they were still wanted by S.H.I.E.L.D.

Tony concluded he had fixed the problem with the arc reactor, but had yet to try it out. Steve forbade him though, until the whole suit was finished. This way, he wouldn’t end up in hospital if it were to go wrong again. So Tony had spent most of his days finishing the suit, and gave it some of the abilities he used before, like the chips in his limbs to call the suit mentally whenever he needed it. 

When he was finally ready, and had Steve’s approval, he was pumped to try it out. It had been a while since he had flown a suit, a complete one, and it felt weird having been out of it for that long.

Steve was sitting at Tony’s desk, while Tony walked around, placing the loose pieces of armour on the ground. He then stepped back and took a deep breath. 

Steve was slightly worried. After all, it were still machines. Anything could go wrong in his mind, but Tony thought differently. He had reassured Steve it was okay, that he would be fine. And Steve trusted him. 

‘JARVIS, give me a beat.’ Tony smirked. JARVIS turned on the music that Tony had selected, and Tony slightly shook his hips, somewhat recreating the moment he first tried MARK 42. Steve chuckled under his breath. 

‘Dum-E, make sure the camera is rolling.’ Tony looked sternly at the robot, which made a beeping sound. 

‘Here goes nothing.’ Tony said, spreading his arms the same way with MARK 42. A smile grew on his face as the parts of the armour soared up and flew at him. He readied himself as the pieces of metal flew against him, covering his limbs. The chest plate almost made him fall over, but Tony was able to recover himself. At last was the mask. Tony raised one eyebrow.

‘Come at me.’ He said. The mask turned around and flew towards him. Tony launched himself, and the mask landed perfectly in its place, while Tony flew around the lab, laughing to himself. Steve cheered for him. 

‘Open the window JARVIS.’ Tony said politely, floating in the air. One of the windows quickly flipped open, and Tony flew right through it. Steve jumped up from his chair and ran to the open window to keep Tony in his sight, while he was testing out his suit, maybe a little too excited. He tested stability, super speed, mobility and much more. And he may have done a few flips while doing so. 

But once he was done, Tony landed on the small runway that he had rebuild after Loki’s alien army destroyed the top floors of the tower, and proudly entered the lab again. 

‘It works alright.’ Steve laughed, standing up. Tony was about to raise the mask and exit the suit, when JARVIS suddenly started talking.

‘Sir, we have company.’

Tony froze. ‘Who is it?’ He asked. JARVIS usually didn’t tell him stuff like that. He knew Tony didn’t care most of the time, so whenever JARVIS did announce it, there had to be something serious going on.

‘Who is who?’ Steve asked, and Tony realised JARVIS had only been talking through the suit. Wasn’t Steve allowed to hear it?

‘Nobody, it’s nothing.’ Tony turned around and walked back to the still open window.

‘Director Fury, sir.’

Tony’s eyes widened. He walked onto the small ledge of the building, looking down. He noticed two black cars, and instantly knew what that meant.’

‘Uh, Tony?’

Tony jerked his head around and launched himself inside, pulling Steve with him.

‘Fury is here. He must have found out about you.’ Tony said, his mask risen. He walked to the desk and opened a window on one computer screen that showed a security camera from the front of the building, right where the cars were located. In front of them was standing Nick Fury, staring right at the camera.

‘I know you are there, Stark. Get down, right now.’ Sounded through the speakers. Tony bit his lip worried, and quickly closed the window.

‘Call Bruce.’ Tony instructed JARVIS, putting on his helmet again. Bruce answered, only in the helmet like before.

‘Tony, what-‘

‘Bruce, are you at the tower?’ Tony asked.

‘Yea, wh-‘

‘Fury is waiting for me. I need you to get Steve out of here.’

Steve walked over to Tony, only able to hear half the conversation.

‘Tony, I can talk with Fury.’ He offered. Tony turned around quickly, holding out his hand.

‘That is a very, very stupid idea.’ He said sharply. ‘You know just as well as I that Fury doesn’t listen.’

‘I know, but he is aware of what happened, and he isn’t a bad man. We could solve this.’

Bruce sighed through the phone, as he didn’t want to be a part of this.

‘I’m coming up there.’ He said quickly, hanging up the phone. Tony barely noticed though.

‘No, you are going with Bruce, and that’s final.’ Tony pointed at the elevator, but Steve didn’t budge.

‘I’m sorry Tony, but I’m not taking orders. And honestly, I can’t hide my whole life.’ Steve crossed his arms. Tony groaned, bared his teeth and lifted the mask.

‘I can’t believe I fell in love with such an idiot!’ He growled silently to himself, turning away from Steve as he was getting angry with annoyance. He hadn’t even realised what he just said.

‘You- … what?’ Steve said, somewhat shocked. Tony stiffened and quickly dropped his mask again.

‘No, Tony, wait!’ Steve held out his hand as Tony turned on his flight power, flying out of the tower without saying anything. Steve ran to the open window and watched as Tony flew down towards Fury. The super soldier lowered his gaze and his shoulders dropped.

Had he really just heard him say that? Was that really how Tony felt?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta reader!


	15. Chapter 15

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fury demands Tony to let him investigate the Stark tower, while Steve refuses to get on a plane.

‘Stark.’ Fury said, as Tony turned off his flight power and landed in front of him.

 ‘Fury.’ Tony lifted his mask and responded, just as cold as the man in front of him.

 ‘We have been informed that you are keeping a wanted criminal under your roof.’ Nick said. Tony didn’t change his expression and all. He felt stupid for what he had just said to Steve. Really stupid. And it angered him. He angered himself.

 ‘I don’t. Now leave.’ Tony said sharply. Nick didn’t budge.

 ‘We can do this the easy way, or the hard way, Stark.’ Fury wasn’t intimidated by the man in the suit at all. He had never been afraid of any of the Avengers. This man barely knew what fear was.

 Tony growled under his breath so Fury couldn’t hear it and stepped aside, letting him and a few of his workers through. Tony followed them.

 Fury immediately took the elevator up to the top floors, or at least the ones closeest to the top floors that he could reach without password. Tony had to follow them, so it would be less suspicious.

 Tony heard a really silent bleep in his right ear, which was the sound of him getting a text. He lowered his mask so he could display it.

  **Tony, Steve refuses to enter the plane**. It was from Bruce. Tony tried not to cringe.

  **Do whatever it takes. Fury is coming up. Use one of my suits, or even take out the Hulk. Doesn’t matter, just do it.** Tony replied. It took only a few seconds for Bruce to answer.

**You know I can’t do that. And I tried pointing one of your weapons at him, but he knows I won’t shoot anyway.**

 Tony closed his eyes, trying to think of a way to get out of this situation, to get Steve safe on a plane away from here.

 ‘Stark.’ Fury suddenly spoke. Tony immediately opened his mask and stared at him, coldly. Fury stared back a few seconds, before turning his head away.

 Fury let his workers examine a few floors, before he ordered to see Tony’s apartment. Tony refused, and got out a few floors below.

 ‘Last warning, Stark.’ Fury said, losing his patience. Tony stared at him with narrowed eyes, shaking his head.

 ‘I told you, Steve is not here. Why would I even want him here? He paralyzed one of my closest friends!’ Tony allowed his anger to be clearly visible in his voice, making his statement more believable. Fury placed his hands behind his back and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

 ‘I see. We are done here.’ And with that, one of his workers pushed a button. The elevator doors closed, taking the elevator down again. Tony felt his concern streaming off, and he sighed out loud as he turned around. He was on one of the working floors, and most of the people were staring at him. Even though these people worked at Stark Industries, most of them had never seen Tony this close, and even less in suit.

 Tony quickly dropped his mask and activated his flight power as he ordered JARVIS to open another window. Tony flew over the heads of people until he had found the window JARVIS had opened, flew out and up to the roof as quickly as possible.

 The highest floor of the building was just one big room that held Tony’s private jet and one helicopter, in case of an emergency. He owned more planes, but these would never fit in the tower, so these were stored elsewhere.

 Steve and Bruce were standing next to the jet, arguing. Tony entered the room and made sure his landing, a few inches away from Steve, was extra loud and heavy.

 ‘Are you insane?!’ Tony yelled at him once his mask his lifted. Steve tensed his muscles, clearly preparing himself to stand up against Tony. Bruce shook his head and quickly walked off, not wanting to risk getting involved and accidentally bringing out the Hulk.

 ‘I could have talked to him.’ Steve said, furrowing his eyebrows. Tony threw his hands in the air, turning around slightly.

 ‘Yeah, fantastic idea! Trying to talk with Fury,  `The Most Powerful Cop in the World’. Why didn’t I think of that awesome idea?!’ Tony’s voice turned from angry to really sarcastic. He jerked his head back, staring straight at Steve.

 ‘Maybe because I’m not a complete dumbass?! Fury wouldn’t have even given you ONE second to explain yourself. He brought eight guys with him into the building. They were going to stun you, or knock you unconscious so they wouldn’t have to put up a fight with “Captain STUBBORN”!’

Tony spat at him, turning away again. His expression was tense as he walked away from Steve, the suit opened, and he continued walking after he had stepped out of the suit, leaving it in the middle of the room.

 ‘Tony.’ Steve’s calm voice echoed behind him. Tony froze, his blood turning cold. Did this sonofabitch really not care? Was he really that oblivious?!

 ‘WHAT?!' Tony turned around violently. Steve grabbed his arms and kept him in place so he couldn't walk away again, and in an attempt to calm him down. Steve's expression showed that he was affected by Tony's anger, and that he didn't want him to feel that way towards himself.

 Tony's anger extinguished, and something snapped in him. Steve opened his mouth to speak, but Tony closed his eyes and leaned in, kissing him.

 Steve's body stiffened for a second, taking in what was happening. But he didn't resist it. With Tony's hand laying around his neck, he kissed him back passionately.

 That was the moment Tony realised what he was doing. His eyes spread open and he pulled away, his eyes wide and gaze to the ground.

 'Tony..' Steve immediately tried to reassure Tony it was okay, but Tony shook his head and stepped back.  Steve, who was still somewhat in shock himself, dropped his arms, looking at Tony with an expression that gave mixed signals. Tony didn't see it though. He just stared at his own shivering hands.

 He couldn't think. His rational mind had abandoned him.

 Before he realised it, his legs were carrying him in a circle around Steve, taking him back to his suit. Tears formed into his eyes, as he walked past the armour, slightly tensing his muscles to call it. Steve realised what he was doing, and ran at him to stop him. But the pieces of armour were already forming the suit around Tony. Steve tried to grab his wrist, but the flight power was booted up and in just one second Tony was gone, flying off at super speed.

 And leaving Steve on the top floor, with nothing but his own thoughts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta reader!


	16. Chapter 16

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After Tony and Steve's kiss, Tony's mind was a mess. He fleed from the tower, not even thinking about where he was going. But when it starts to get late, Steve and Bruce go look for him.

Tears made Tony’s vision blurry as he flew over the city in super speed. He didn’t know where he was going, had nowhere to go. But he just wanted to get out of there. Get away from Steve. Escape from his own mind. 

‘Sir, I have no second flight test planned for today.’ JARVIS’s voice suddenly sounded. Tony stopped in mid-air, just floating.

‘Not now, JARVIS.’ Tony hissed, his voice broken. He was flying above an open field, with a few sheep grazing farther away from him. Tony landed the suit and exited it, his legs shivering. He walked over to the closest tree, the suit following him, and almost collapsed once he reached it. With his back against the tree, he buried his face in his arms, a few tears streaming down his cheeks. 

He had trouble breathing, and it felt like his head was overflowing. He grasped for his chest and leaned against the tree again, inhaling and exhaling heavily. He closed his eyes and tried to forget the world around him, but the anxiety attack didn’t let him. It tortured his body, when his mind had already abandoned him. The attack went on for what felt like forever, but once it became less, exhaustion kicked in. He rested against the tree trunk. His gaze locked with the group of sheep in the distance, until his eyes fell closed, and he drifted off into a deep sleep. 

 

‘Bruce, it’s getting really late. Tony still hasn’t come back yet. Where could he have gone?’ Steve’s voice was filled with worry. He had told Bruce a slightly edited version of what happened, making him believe Tony had flown off simpkly because they had fought. 

‘Calm down, Steve. His suits always have tracking devices, so Tony can find them if they get lost.’ Bruce didn’t seem as concerned as Steve. He turned his phone on and clicked on it a few times, until handing the device to Steve. The super soldier hesitantly took it from him, and looked at what seemed to be a map.

‘He’s here.’ Bruce pointed at a small red dot. ‘We can pick him up whenever we want.’ 

Steve looked at the phone in disbelieve.

‘Why didn’t you tell me this before?’ He asked Bruce, who shrugged. 

‘Didn’t seem necessary. Nobody ever has to track him down, as he is always here. The only time Tony uses it himself is when he loses a suit. Sounds weird, but it has happened a  
few times.’ Bruce took the phone back. 

‘So I suppose you want to go now?’ 

Steve nodded and Bruce motioned for Steve to follow him.

 

It was dark when they finally reached their destination. Steve walked out of the airplane, looking around. He still felt concerned. The lights of the plane illuminated the dark of the unlighted fields, and Steve quickly noticed the armour standing in front of a tree. He walked over to it and spotted Tony. He was sitting against the tree, his legs lazily pulled up, and his arms laying in his lap. He was sleeping deeply, and the arc reactor gave off a dull, blue glow. Steve sighed, regretting his actions from earlier that day. He had hoped for a very different reaction, but instead got the completely opposite of what he had expected. And now seeing Tony here, so vulnerable, sitting in the dark, it made his heart feel like something was stamping on it.

Steve silently walked up to him and moved one hand under Tony’s knees and one under his back so he could lift the sleeping man up. Tony’s head rested on his shoulder as Steve carried him all the way back to the airplane, glancing at Tony a few times. Despite the fact that Tony was sleeping, Steve could see the sorrow that Tony had felt before falling asleep in his expression. His eyebrows were slightly furrowed, his mouth formed into a sad frown. Steve turned his head away.

Behind him, the suit followed Steve and Tony to the jet. One less thing to worry about.

Steve walked up the stairs and carefully placed Tony down in one of the seats, sitting down in the one next to it himself. The suit just stood in the back of the airplane, freaking Steve out a bit.

‘Ready to go?’ Bruce called from the cockpit, lowering his voice so he wouldn’t wake Tony up. Steve looked at him and nodded. Bruce held up his thumb and started the jet. 

Steve turned his head to look at Tony. A minute went by, and they were flying back to the tower. Tony suddenly started moving, and Steve feared he was waking up. But instead, he moved a little and rested his head on Steve’s shoulder. The super soldier stared at the still sleeping Tony, eyes filled with surprise. A smile grew on his face.

‘I love you too, Tony.’

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta reader!


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After what happened the day before, Tony plans on locking himself away in his lab the entire day. But Steve can no longer ignore his feelings and follows Tony down there.

Tony furrowed his eyebrows as he was starting to wake up. The first thing he noticed, before he had even opened his eyes, was that he was not in a field anymore.

His eyes spread wide open as he shot up, realising he was in his own bed. His expression filled with confusion. Tony swung his legs over the edge of the bed and stared at the digital clock on his nightstand.

6:43 AM.

Tony rubbed his eyes and sighed, memories flowing back to him, and stood up. He had the urge to stay in his room and lock himself away, like all these weeks before Steve had arrived, but he knew that eventually, Steve would convince Bruce to break to lock up, which he was capable off. Tony groaned, regretting that he gave Bruce so much power here.

The still sleepy man stretched his body and strolled to the door. He stopped, realising that Steve was an early bird.

‘JARVIS, where is Steve?’ Tony asked silently. ‘Is he on this floor?’ 

‘Mister Rogers is in the living room, sir.’ JARVIS announced. Tony bit his lip, closing his eyes. He could maybe reach the elevator without him noticing, as the elevator wasn’t visible from around the corner of the living room, but even if Steve was just sitting there, watching television or whatever, he could be able to hear the elevator arrive. Tony exhaled shakily. He shook his head and moved his hand through his hair. 

‘Ugh, whatever.’ Tony muttered to himself, quietly opening the door.

He poked his head out of his bedroom. The living room was almost silent, except for the sound of a page being turned. Tony tip-toed out of his room, just leaving his door open as he didn’t want to risk the sound it could make and pushed the elevator button. 

The elevator was already on this floor, seen that he was almost the only one that used it, and opened with the usual amount of sound an elevator makes. But in this situation, it sounded like it was amplified with speakers. Tony cringed, and quickly darted into the elevator. 

‘Tony?’ Steve’s voice sounded through the silent apartment. Tony quickly pushed the close button, followed by ordering JARVIS to take him down to the lab. Steve appeared around the corner, and tried to hold the elevator. Tony leaned against the wall and watched as the elevator closed just in time before Steve could stop it. A sigh of relief escaped his mouth.

Tony had never been more confused about his emotions then now. His mind didn’t even try to work it out. It just blocked out everything that had to do with Steve, then proceeded to tell Tony to avoid him and only worry about other things, like work. And for some reason, it was exhausting him so much, that he almost fell asleep on the way down. He shook his head, blinked and walked out of the elevator, shaking his shoulders.

‘Lock the elevator, JARVIS.’ Tony ordered, his gaze flowing over the lab. 

It took a while before Tony heard the elevator lock down, as if JARVIS had been hesitating. Tony paced over to his desk and sat down. The screen turned on, and Tony just stared at it, his mind drifting off. 

‘Tony.’ 

Tony let out a yowl in surprise, and fell off his chair by the sudden voice calling his name and pulling his mind back to the here and now. He jerked his head up, staring straight at Steve, who was standing a few feet away from him.

‘WHAT THE HELL STEVE!?’ He screamed, followed by a loud groan as he crawled back up on his feet.

‘I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to startle you.’ Steve tried to help Tony, but was rejected as Tony dashed away from him. Steve stiffened, pulling his arm back sadly.

‘How did you get here?’ Tony asked sharply. Had JARVIS not listened to what Tony ordered him to do?

‘I took the stairs.’ Steve said, pointing behind him. Tony glanced at the door in the corner of the lab for a few seconds, completely confused. Since when did he have a staircase there? 

‘Tony please. We have to talk about this.’ Steve stepped closer to Tony, but the billionaire shook his head and stepped back at the same time as Steve got closer, leaving enough space for himself to breath.

‘No. We don’t.’ He lowered his head and tried to walk past Steve to his armour. His mind was trying to go on full defence mode, planning on taking Tony away again, using the suit to do the exact same as yesterday. But Steve wouldn’t let that happen again. He blocked Tony’s path and grabbed hold of his wrist. Tony bared his teeth and tensed his muscles.

‘Please don’t fly off again.’ Steve whispered, holding on tight. Tony closed his eyes, exhaling, on the edge of tears again. He jerked his arms backwards, giving Steve the idea he tried to escape. But in reality, he was just calling the armour to come to him. 

Steve was startled when a part of the suit suddenly flew over his head and landed on Tony’s upper arm, extending. He had forgotten what the suit could do, and as more parts came flying at the mentally unstable man in front of him, he started to panic.

Steve wrapped his arms around Tony before more parts of the suit could attach to him. Instead, the flew up against his back, and just fell down, as they couldn’t locate Tony anymore. Tony struggled in his grip, starting to breath heavily.

‘Steve!’ He cried out, his voice broken. But Steve didn’t let go, and after a minute of struggling, he felt Tony calm down. His shoulder felt wet as a few tears fell on his shirt. Tony’s hand lay on Steve’s chest, shivering. He then buried his face in Steve’s neck, his body shaking because of the sobs.

Steve exhaled silently and lifted his head a little, feeling Tony’s hair against his cheek. One of his hands moved upwards towards Tony’s head, Steve’s fingers entangling with his hair. 

‘It’s okay, Tony. You don’t have to hide from me.’ Steve whispered. Tony’s fingers grabbed Steve’s shirt, and he was still shaking.

‘Y-you asshole…’ Tony stuttered. Steve smiled. The super soldier leaned back, took Tony’s chin in his hand and kissed him. Tony didn't fight the urge to kiss him anymore, and pressed his lips against Steve's, kissing him passionately. His hands lay around Steve’s neck, tears still streaming down his face.

‘I love you.’ Steve whispered, once they broke free. Tony looked him in the eyes with an expression that told Steve that Tony still didn’t fully believe what was happening. That he thought that he could wake up any second and realise it was all a dream. That it wasn’t real.

‘I love you too.’ Tony said silently, smiling through his tears.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Shout out to ok_but_first_tea for being my beta-reader!


	18. Chapter 18

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony still doesn't quite believe that this isn't a dream.

Tony still couldn’t believe it. Steve loved him back. 

It was late in the evening. The two men had spent the day talking about some topics Tony didn’t even want to think about. But Steve was so kind, so patient, he couldn’t help but blurt it all out. 

One of the topics included the alien invasion. The moment Steve brought it up, Tony felt like he was out of breath, starting to inhale rapidly. Steve didn’t notice it at first, and asked Tony a few things. But when Tony grasped for his chest, staring blankly at the floor and not answering Steve at all, the super soldier realised what was going on. Bruce had warned him for Tony’s panic attack, but he hadn’t thought it was this bad. 

Steve had wrapped his arms around Tony, slowly moving his hand up and down his back as he shushed him until he felt the tenseness disappear from his muscles and he calmed down in his arms. 

Steve made a mental note not to talk about the happenings during the alien invasion from a few years ago, as Tony was still having trouble processing it.

Once the sun had gone under, the two went upstairs to Tony’s apartment. Steve had cooked for Tony, who was still perplexed of all the events of the day. But when it was time to get to bed, and Steve planned on kissing Tony goodnight, he felt Tony’s firm grip around his arm. 

‘Stay with me tonight.’ Tony whispered. Steve was surprised to see actual fear in Tony’s eyes, as if he was scared.

‘Is something wrong?’ Steve asked, worried. Tony lowered his head and bit his lip, feeling awkward all of the sudden. After a brief moment of silence, Tony shook his head.

‘No, never mind.’ His voice sounded shaky, and he could see disappointment in Tony’s expression as he turned to his bedroom door. Steve walked closer to him and hugged him from behind.

‘You don’t have to keep any secrets for me, Tony.’ Steve whispered in his ear before kissing Tony in his neck. He felt Tony shiver slightly.

‘It’s just…. The nightmares…’ Tony whispered, bending his neck a little as Steve kissed him more passionately. 

‘I’ll stay with you.’ Steve assured him. Tony’s shoulders dropped and he exhaled with a sigh in relief, turning his head to kiss Steve back. He turned his body around and wrapped his arms around Steve’s neck. His mouth opened, and Steve went with his movement. The two strolled to the bed, laying down, Steve on top of Tony. 

Steve’s hands slid under Tony’s tank top, slowly moving upwards to his chest. Tony’s cheeks were burning red, and he was feeling really nervous. Steve lifted Tony’s tank top up, and pulled it over his shoulder to throw it on the ground. He kissed Tony on the lips, than on the jaw, neck and down. Tony silently moaned as Steve kissed him around the arc reactor, which light was giving a dull blue glow to the room. 

‘S-steve…’ Tony moaned as Steve moved his hands up and down, kissing Tony on his lips again. Tony placed his hands on Steve’s neck, and kissed him back. 

Steve pulled away and looked Tony in the eyes, giving him a charming but caring smile. 

‘Don’t leave.’ Tony whispered, feeling really vulnerable as he got the idea that Steve might leave his side once he had fallen asleep. Thinking he would completely leave him was unbearable, and he immediately blocked it out of his mind. 

Steve laid himself next to Tony, slightly pulling him onto his chest and embracing him.

‘I won’t.’ Steve whispered back, kissing Tony on the forehead. Tony placed his arm over Steve’s chest, burying his face in his shoulder. 

In the shortest of moments, Tony’s heartbeat slowed down, and he drifted off to a sleep, the feeling of safety flowing over him.

 

The moment Tony started to wake up, he felt Steve lying next to him. He blinked his eyes open and looked up to the sleeping man. His chest was rising and falling peacefully, and he still had his arms wrapped around Tony.

Tony smiled to himself, relaxing again. Now that he was sure it hadn’t been a dream, and that Steve was still here, he started to feel like he could lay there forever, with him.

Steve moved, and Tony quickly looked up again, only to meet Steve’s warm, blue eyes.

‘How did you sleep?’ Steve asked, his voice rough. Tony lowered his gaze and moved his head a little.

‘No nightmares, or dreams for that matter. It’s been awhile since I’ve slept this peaceful.’ His voice was quiet. Tony buried his face in Steve’s neck and grasped on to his shirt. Steve smiled, embracing Tony.

‘What time is it?’ Tony asked, after a few minutes of comfortable silence. Steve turned his head to look at the digital clock.

‘Almost ten. why?’ He asked. Tony stiffened, face palmed himself and sighed.

 

‘Damnit… Bruce is not gonna be happy…’ He muttered, more to himself than Steve.

‘Why? What’s going on?’ Steve asked, confused.

‘I promised I was going to help him in his lab in the morning.’ Tony rolled of Steve and stretched. Steve sat up in the bed and watched as Tony got up and walked around the bed to find his shirt. Steve yawned and got up as well.

The couple left the bedroom when they were both ready. Tony quickly walked to the small fridge and grabbed two sandwich, tossing one over to Steve. Tony had barely unwrapped it when he took a bite, and speed-walked to the elevator. He was in a hurry. As he was waiting for the elevator to come up, Steve hugged Tony from behind. Tony stiffened for a split second, before realising that it was okay. Steve was his boyfriend now. He should enjoy it, instead of being on edge all the time. 

Tony turned his head as Steve was kissing him in the neck, and closed his eyes for a few seconds.

The elevator doors opened.

‘Are you gonna be up here for lunch?’ Steve asked. He rested his chin on Tony’s shoulder and looked up at him with a sweet smile.

‘Can’t promise anything.’ Tony answered as he placed one hand on the side of Steve’s cheek. ‘But you can come with me, if you’d like? There are enough things in Bruce’s lab to mess with while we are working.’ Tony teased, and Steve chuckled.

‘I might as well. I’m out of books to read.’ He let go of Tony so they could step into the elevator, where Steve leaned against the wall, and Tony leaned against Steve.

‘We’ll order some more later.’ He planted a kiss on Steve’s lips. The super soldier chuckled, and right before the elevator doors opened, the two parted from each other.

‘You’re late, Tony.’ Bruce’s voice echoed through the lab. Tony stepped out of the elevator, followed by Steve who’d stopped to look at the first invention they passed.

‘Sorry, just woke up. What did you need help with?’


	19. Chapter 19

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Tony reveals the truth about his relationship towards Bruce

Bruce and Tony remained in the lab for the rest of the day, working on multiple things Bruce had needed help with. Steve eventually left, came back with lunch, and left again. Tony had given him a small tablet that showed a web page full of books, telling Steve to just click on those he liked and order them. Steve had left the lab staring at the tablet, looking through the entire collection.

It was starting to become late in the afternoon, and Tony was sitting a few feet away from Bruce in a chair, reading a few notes on the computer screen.

‘So, what’s up between you and Cap?’ Bruce asked out of the blue, after at least fifteen minutes of silence. Tony stiffened, but tried to act casual.

‘What’re you talking about?’ Tony asked a question in return. He was glad that he had years of training when it came to putting on a poker face.

‘I’m not blind, Tony.’ Bruce laughed slightly and turned around to face Tony, lifting the safety glasses on his head. Tony was still turned away from Bruce, skimming around with the device in front of him. ‘Something changed between you two. I see it in the way you two look at each other.’ He leaned his arms on the back of his chair, waiting for Tony to turn around.

‘You can tell me. I know how to keep a secret.’

Tony finally turned around, meeting an amused smirk from Bruce. Tony rolled his eyes and dropped the tool in his hand.

‘Nothing is ‘going on’ between Steve and me. You are imagining things.’ Tony gave him the most not-amused glare he could make up in return. Bruce remained silent, lifting one eyebrow. Tony groaned, slowly giving in.

‘Ugh, fine. But you can’t tell the others, or anyone for that matter.’ Tony stared sternly at Bruce, who quickly nodded.

Tony exhaled, regretting it already.

‘Remember how you once jokingly said that we would be a great couple?’ Tony said. Bruce nodded, waiting for Tony to continue. But Tony just bit his lip, until after a few seconds Bruce’s eyes widened, and mouth opened.

‘You’re not kidding, are you?’ He leaned back, somewhat expecting Tony to be messing with him, but when that didn’t come, and only got guilty looks from Tony, he furrowed his eyebrows.

‘Really? How did it happen? When?’ It was clear that Bruce was full of questions. Yet, he lacked surprise. 

Tony rubbed his neck, awkwardness flowing over him as his cheeks started to burn red.

‘Ugh… Two days ago, after Fury left and you took the elevator down to avoid our fight, we kissed. I flew off, had a panic attack… you know what happened.’ He shook his hand to label it as not important. ‘The next morning, I went to my lab, but Steve followed me. I tried to fly off again, but he stopped me and well…’ he was too embarrassed to look at his friend, ‘you know. It happened.’ He moved one hand through the air, awkwardly looking up at Bruce to see how he would react.

‘At last. It took you quite some time, huh?’

Tony looked at him, his mouth slightly open.

‘Did you really think I didn’t know about your secret before you told me a few months ago?’ Bruce chuckled, smirking widely. ‘I’m your friend Tony. I probably realised it before you did.’ He shoved his chair closer to his friends and placed a hand on his shoulder.

‘Congrats. You deserve to feel happy again.’

Tony turned his head away, somewhat touched by Bruce. But he didn’t show it though, and just smiled at him.

‘Thanks Bruce.’

 

It had been past twelve PM. Bruce and Tony had talked some more, mostly about Tony’s relationship which really embarrassed Tony, until he decided to go to bed. Tony had followed him into the elevator, only to get out in his own lab.

Tony had found some small issues with the suit, and was determined to solve them, maybe even improve them. So he had taken the suit apart in multiple pieces, just so it would be easier to work with.

Tony had this habit of ignoring his tiredness. It had become more than just a habit. After years of practice, he was able to shut it out completely, or atleast, up to a certain point. After two days, he would start to feel it in his body. But he could easily stay up the entire night, without even thinking about sleep once.

This was both a gift and a curse. He could work longer whenever he needed to, but it also created multiple situations where he fell asleep in the middle of the day, in the most unwanted places. Like a meeting with the Avengers, while doing paperwork and even during flight once.

This also made him somewhat oblivious to what happened around him. Because of this, he didn’t notice Steve coming down.

For the same reason, he was barely startled by a sudden hand covering his eyes. He just stopped working, staring at the dark void that was now his eyesight. In response of him lifting his hand, the same person carefully took his wrist in their hand. The touch was so gentle, so nonthreatening, that Tony’s brain didn’t even attempt to shake the hands off and made him act like a puppy that was being covered in a blanket.

‘It’s time to sleep.’ Steve’s voice echoed above him.

‘Oh..’ Tony murmured quietly. The hand disappeared from his eyes and moved down to his neck. Steve leaned in to kiss Tony on the head.

‘C’mon.’ He whispered, his voice soft and caring. Tony just somewhat gave in, standing up to follow him. Once they were in the elevator, Steve placed his arms around his lover, pulling him closer. Tony didn’t really resist it, and just relaxed against Steve. Despite the good night of sleep the other day, he was feeling rather tired now.

The two made their way to Tony’s bedroom, and quickly brushed their teeth before going to bed. Tony immediately closed his eyes, curled up against Steve’s chest and wrapped his arms around him. Steve smiled and moved his hand through Tony’s hair.

‘Goodnight Tony.’


End file.
